I'm not quite sure of anything lately and i feel so out of control. I have an obsession to want to be in control at all times. Its a curse, but it get things done and it hasnt done me too wrong untill now. I don't know why but i feel extremely out of control which isn't putting me in a very good mood. It 's no ones fault, I shouldn't have to have constant control. I feel really bad for the people around me, I know I'm probably bringing them down with my mood. I sometimes wish i didn't have friends, and i lived on my own. I feel like maybe that would help me, because then i eouldnt have naything to control but my own actions, and i could more rationally choose my actions. I also wish the world didnt run so fast. It's constantly spinning, that gives me no time to do the things i love, and no decision making time. I sometimes get this strange want to sub-exist, to just live on another plane and to be able to observe without getting in the way of things. Just some thoughts.
Till next time,
peace :)
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